Have you ever wondered why you bring the same type of person into your life or why people leave when they do? It can be frustrating, not knowing why patterns don't change, even when we want them to. We end up blaming ourselves or others when relationships go south. Wouldn't it be helpful if we understood the enigma of chemistry between people? Understanding what brings people in and out of our life empowers us to choose who is in our life contributing to our peace, health and joy.

Relationships are actually one of the best gifts to help us achieve our greatest potential. Your tribe, peeps, clan, community, family, call them what you will, our relationships with others are our most helpful or detrimental tangible support for spiritual success.

When two people have similar chemistry they attract each other to form a relationship. Understanding chemistry is vital to understanding why we manifest the people we do, and chemistry is not always innate.

For the most part, chemistry is based upon our learned beliefs. Even in vitro we absorb beliefs about life. After we're born, the conditioning really begins. Our primary caretakers led us by example demonstrating how to be in relationships. How did our parent's role model their relationship with each other, money, God, strangers, friends and their career?

Lovers, life partners, coworkers and acquaintances are all drawn or repulsed to us based on our beliefs about life. Many times our chemistry comes from unconscious beliefs we aren't even aware of. We have the power to find and change our beliefs changing relationships that do not serve us to ones that support our spiritual success.

If Cupid was real and his arrows had magic, Cupid could change the beliefs of men and women to create the perfect chemistry. Every relationship is a blessing because each one assists us in growing into a greater person.

10 Steps to Manifest Loving Relationships

1. Responsibility: Choose to take responsibility for what you are creating.
2. Mirroring: See your relationship as a mirror, the person is a reflection of what you are attracting with your beliefs.
3. Gratitude: Be grateful to the universe for making you aware of what you are creating.
4. Breathe: Breathe deep and release to calm your mind, open your heart and relax your body, so you may connect with your spirit.
5. Challenge List: Make a challenge list of everything in your relationship that is not serving your highest potential.
6. Transform: Transform each item into its antithesis to create your new vision of the relationship.
7. New Vision: Add any other qualities to your new vision you'd like to experience with this type of relationship.
8. Certainty: Know that you are creating your new vision of this relationship.
9. Celebrate: When you experience the new qualities celebrate them.
10. Awareness: Be aware if you experience anything that is not in alignment with your highest vision of this relationship and go through the ten steps again.

You will eventually live in this new vision and probably have yet another new vision to create. That is the beauty of relationships. They are ever inspiring us to grow. If we seize the opportunity and surrender to the grander vision of our loving selves, we will embrace the ultimate expression of life.

If we consider that everything we do comes from a place of wanting to feel loved, we understand that we all have different versions of love. What version of love do you have? Is your version unconditional, no matter what people do they are good and can do no wrong? Is your version conditional, people are wrong or right and everyone falls into these categories? But there are bad people, you might say. 'Bad' people exist in one version of love but in another nonjudgmental, soulful, empowering, freeing, unified field of love; there are only good people.

What it comes down to is, we are all doing the best we can in each moment given what is available to us. If we could have performed better, we would have, it's as simple as that. We often wonder how things could have been different in hind sight, but the point is to learn from the past and adjust our direction in the moment, not to dwell with judgment.

Below is a love test. You'll find a list of universal loving and unloving qualities. The love test will guide you through simple qualifiers to see how loving your relationship is. Please think of one relationship at a time. Check the qualities that apply to how you feel with each relationship.

THE LOVE TEST

Universal Loving Qualities

• Acceptance
• Unity
• Understanding
• Freedom
• Empowerment
• Patience
• Respect

• Conditions
• Separation
• Blame
• Control
• Disempowerment
• Impatience
• Disrespect